Pretend Performer Gifts

"I don't think air guitar counts."

Sale: Air guitar. As new.

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"He likes it."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"How should we divide the teams?"

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Little doctor.

"I will give you the specimen some other time!"

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

'Stop purring I can't hear your heart beat.'

Imagination

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

"I tested very high in playing."

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

'Don't bite it. I have to check Daddy next.'

That kid's all business.

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

"Jonathan! I've told you not to put your space toys in the freezer and pretend they're on the ice planet!"

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

"Tea parties are passé. I'm opening a craft brewery."

"It's cute that yours has a Fire Island share, mine has the East Hampton Dream House."

A little boy is crawling through a sandbox towards his mother as though he were dying of thirst in a desert.

'Let's play doctor. You be the primary care giver and I'll be the doctor you refer patients to.'

"Take a pill in the morning, in the afternoon and at night."

"I'm playing "Explorer" and looking for the Elephant Cemetery: there should be really big bones there!"

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

Performance In The Bedroom

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'