Press Conference Admirer Pillows

This report took me three months to put together, any questions? How long have you had that toupee?

Cut!

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

Men discussing a book on a chat show

Sharp Eyes

"I'm going to read a statement and then I'll take questions.''

"But for an update in GM products in farming we have a spokescarrot."

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'

Dollars Press Conference

"O.K., but what I'm about to tell you does not leave this news cycle."

"Please remember - if the President doesn't get mad at you, don't take it personally - Mr. Trump is very, very busy."

"Why? - They're just bees without a PR agent. . ."

Vote For Me!

I'm sorry Charles is unavailable for polite comment.

"That's a very good question, which is why we're going to move on to the next question."

"Road? What particular road are we talking about here? You'll have to be more specific..."

The main reason I came out of hiding? FOMO."

Liquor is legal, not compulsory.

"I notice the Apaches are using a new font."

"...were in fact not victims but just had a really, really hard time getting out of bed this morning."

"For a change of pace, you shout and answer and I'll make up a question."

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

Diddly

"I will not run for re-election so I can spend more time with my role officer."

Jürgen Norbert Klopp

Theatre advertising itself as just like HDTV 3D.

'Hurry up, coach. Pick one.. you're late for the press conference.'

Jimmy Carr

The media became obsessed with the idea of 'The Most Important Potato Chip in the Bag'.

"Trump's election victory was intended by God!"

God Gives His First Press Conference

Having an open mind is not to be confused with a hole in the head.

"Oy vey"

"I'm stepping down to spend more time with my chin."