Preschool Programmer Gifts

"We're bored with the blocks, Ms. Johnson...when do we learn programming?"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

City Zoo: Day Care

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

The Computer Bore

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

The Baby Walker

"Google car."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Swan Fairy Tales

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

Evolution.

"I don't think I can express what I have to say in just colored paper and glue."

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"