Preschool Gifts

"Today we're going to explore in paint how we feel when we're picked up late from preschool."

Professional Parents

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

This will never work. I'm a night person.'

Toilet training for an adult.

"It didn't work -- My imaginary playmate refused to take the rap."

City Zoo: Day Care

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

The Baby Walker

Swan Fairy Tales

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

"I don't think I can express what I have to say in just colored paper and glue."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

Green Balloon

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

"I'm still pre-literate."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

A Preschool of Fish

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

"I learned how to shop online, mommy. If you see a series of tractor trailers arrive, it's just the rest of the stuff I ordered."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

"I tested very high in playing."

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"