Preppers T-Shirts

Safe harbour

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

Prepper Dog

S.O.S. vaccine

Holiday Gifts 2020

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

Trick or Treatment.

How to survive the coming crash.

'It's the worst I've seen in this area. Lots of chicken pox going around.'

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

Fire Assembly Point

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

"Always be prepared."

Climate Change Contingency House

"It would be unwise to attend an interview without doing any preparation in advance.

"As you can see, hands are about to hit peak dryness, so we're predicting record lotion sales for next quarter."

In case of fire call yourself.

"We're running late. Just pick a facial expression already."

"I like to see a man who's prepared, Remson!"

Hazmat suit

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

Chicken Noodle sold out.

Sourdough starter. Mask-making supplies. Everything else