Prepper Humor Gifts

After the party the Millers return to their underground lair.

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

Prepper Dog

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

Safe harbour

"This better be high tide."

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

TGI Doomsday.

'I want to be ready when the sea level rises!'

'I'd chalk it up to just another crazy backyard hobby...'

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

Stay in school.

"Well, that's the last of it, which means we just ate thirty years' worth of food in two weeks."

Woman on desert island reads message she finds in a bottle: 'It's an ad for a diet club.'

NO FACILITIES

'This is my RB: Recreational Bomb.'

Look! A penny!

"Today our quest continues for someone who can come up with a solution for dealing with the partisan gridlock in Washington."

"They're veggie hot dogs but don't worry—they're made in a really gross way."

'Do you have planning permission for this construction?'

"I learned my lesson after Katrina and the BP oil spill. Basically, it's be ready for just about anything."

'Don't kid yourself. Humans have chemical weapons, and they'll use them.'

'Recently I just get so much junk mail.'

You are here. Too bad!

The End of the World is Near: Information Supplied By A Reliable Source Who Wishes To Remain Incognito.

'How long are you going to keep checking your voice mail!?

'Do you have any diet?'

'I think I'll wait and buy one secondhand.'

He's taking the melting of the ice caps very seriously!