Prenuptial Agreement Gifts

'I hope you realize, Madelaine, that you're in violaton of section G, paragraph 3a, of our prenuptial agreement.'

"How romantic! A handwritten prenuptial!"

'Look dear - a prenuptial disagreement.'

"Now, according to this agreement, his problems will be your problems, and your problems will be your problems."

'According to your pre-nuptial agreement. If you divorce her, you'll turn back into a frog.'

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

'Progress. Your prenup process is down to two boxes of tissue a day.'

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

"It's a prenuptial agreement. If we ever divorce, I don't want you cleaning me out."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

'Sorry, but we're not compatible, Jim. You keep a diary, and I blog on the Internet.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"I want to get married and start a family with you—although God knows who I'll want to finish it with."

'Sorry, but my car is a hybrid and I wouldn't accept anything less in a husband.'

Will you be mine?

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

Various Traps.

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

"She signed a prenup promising not to eat me and then ate the lawyer."

'Brad and his prenuptial attorneys swept me off my feet!'

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

Recycled passion.

'Do your lawyers have to be here?'

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

"I can only give you country walks in springtime and a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall. It's in the prenuptial agreement. Check it out."

'Darling, how romantic...a pre-nup.'

Attention Span Man