Prenatal Phase Gifts

So … you do a lot of yoga?

Cry babies.

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

31. 19. 55.7.

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

A little bird told me...