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"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

'Rover is sulking because he helped bag the goose and all he gets for dinner is dog food.'

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

'I wish John would stop using that gourmet pet food that makes gravy when you add water.'

'Those tid-bits you left for Ming Toy were delicious, Mrs. Caldwell!'

Free range cat food - mice running around the store.

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

"It's the first edition of 'How dogs know what their owners are bringing home for dinner'."

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"He won't wait for me to open the can."

"This is our new product consultant."

'I pity the poor schlub whose job it is to make that call.'

"Penny, what is that scent you have on? I must know." "Don't you just love it, Lucy? It's dead rat."

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

'Dang! Oh well, I won't have to feed him for a year now.'

'Of course you have a choice. You can have it in your bowl...or on the floor...what's it to be, Mister Choosey?'

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"

Colin had standards, and not eating 'own brand' food was one of them.....

'So you want two opposable thumbs so you can open your own dogfood?'

Boy get cookies while dog gets treats.

"Wait! I forgot the garnish."

'Look at this: We get the gourmet tins while Rex gets the generic dog food...'

You tell me how they know it has new and improved flavour!

'Believe me, I've checked. There are no shows on the Food Channel devoted to cooking kibble.'

Water. Food. Garnish.

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

Limits of Canine Philosophical Inquiry.

'I'll take your word for it that dog food tastes good on crackers.'

'I can understand my mother and my first-grade teacher being there, but there's also a TV announcer who does dog commercials and a second-string catcher for the Detroit Tigers.'

"Well, I won't be asking 'what's for dinner' for awhile."