Gourmet Pet Aficionado T-Shirts

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

"... $3 million, I have $3 million. Can I get $4 million? Yes, $4 million ..."

"She's eating in tonight."

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

'You realize you're spoiling Bilbo.'

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"

Posh Doghouse.

'Let's see... that's one 'last week's leftovers' and two 'third grader's homework', right?'

"Generally I recommend chuck, but since your collie has a pedigree...sirloin."

Colin had standards, and not eating 'own brand' food was one of them.....

'Look at this: We get the gourmet tins while Rex gets the generic dog food...'

'I hope your 'kittycat gourmet delight' tastes better than my 'doggy sirloin supreme!''

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

"If we list it now, you could be eating filet mignon every night for the rest of your life!"

"Wait! I forgot the garnish."

The Four Basic Food Groups - Dry, moist, biscuit, bone.

'I'm thinking celebrity pet's cookery nightmare make-over...'

'The cat is finicky and he likes this flavor.'

The food is just scooped into my dish...no thought to food presentation.

'No more premium chow? She's not infactuated with me anymore!'

"It's a new cereal for dogs."

"We bought her to replace little Henry's spleen, but then we just sort of fell in love with her."