Pet Gourmet Enthusiast T-Shirts

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

"She's eating in tonight."

Free range cat food - mice running around the store.

"It's the first edition of 'How dogs know what their owners are bringing home for dinner'."

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

'You realize you're spoiling Bilbo.'

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

'Let's see... that's one 'last week's leftovers' and two 'third grader's homework', right?'

"Generally I recommend chuck, but since your collie has a pedigree...sirloin."

Colin had standards, and not eating 'own brand' food was one of them.....

'I hope your 'kittycat gourmet delight' tastes better than my 'doggy sirloin supreme!''

"Wait! I forgot the garnish."

'Look at this: We get the gourmet tins while Rex gets the generic dog food...'

You tell me how they know it has new and improved flavour!

'Believe me, I've checked. There are no shows on the Food Channel devoted to cooking kibble.'

Water. Food. Garnish.

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

"If we list it now, you could be eating filet mignon every night for the rest of your life!"

'I'll take your word for it that dog food tastes good on crackers.'

'I'm thinking celebrity pet's cookery nightmare make-over...'

'The cat is finicky and he likes this flavor.'

'No more premium chow? She's not infactuated with me anymore!'

The food is just scooped into my dish...no thought to food presentation.