Pet Gourmet Chef T-Shirts

'I hope your 'kittycat gourmet delight' tastes better than my 'doggy sirloin supreme!''

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

Homemade dog biscuits.

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

'Those tid-bits you left for Ming Toy were delicious, Mrs. Caldwell!'

"She's eating in tonight."

Recipes.

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

'You realize you're spoiling Bilbo.'

"What smells so good? -- I'm not cooking for you, but for my dog."

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

"As a dog he's incredible. As a chef he's just okay."

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

'See, it's very good cat food!'

"Generally I recommend chuck, but since your collie has a pedigree...sirloin."

'Let's see... that's one 'last week's leftovers' and two 'third grader's homework', right?'

Water. Food. Garnish.

"Wait! I forgot the garnish."

"If we list it now, you could be eating filet mignon every night for the rest of your life!"

'Believe me, I've checked. There are no shows on the Food Channel devoted to cooking kibble.'

'I'll take your word for it that dog food tastes good on crackers.'

"Well-done coming right up."

'I'm thinking celebrity pet's cookery nightmare make-over...'

'The cat is finicky and he likes this flavor.'

"I'm so tired of eating meals from a can...I could spit!"

'No more premium chow? She's not infactuated with me anymore!'

'Eugh. This is awful. I'm not the hugest fan of licorice, but this one I found on the sidewalk is disgusting.'

Street Mix: All the thrill and uncertainty of the sidewalk...right at home!