Premiership Pundit Pillows

Dylan Hartley.

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

Official Rhetoric About Leakers and Whistleblowers, Translated

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

'Increase your beer volume sales by filling the glasses up.'

Mudville

'You drink like a fish.'

Old soldiers never die. They just become TV pundits.

'My first drink since my accident.'

"We're TV pundits debating the issues."

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

Question Thyme

'With the threat of ABS's competing for Council work is going to get even harder...'

"I swear, Eddie, you ought to be on with Bill Moyers."

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

'Happy hour was over an hour ago. Wipe that stupid grin off your face!'

"Oh no! It's foot 'n' mouth season again."

"I know I should Fuggedaboutit but I can't."

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

Jose Mourinho Caricature.

Put us down as decidedly and definitely more positive than "maybe" but probably something not quite so strong as "perhaps."

"MBA or not, get a haircut and cover up the tattoos."

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

Gentlemen, I'm gathering information about the electorate. First question, how have you voted in the past? Sometimes I've filled in circles with a pen. Or used an electronic touch-screen. Once I punched holes in a card! When you live in Florida, right? I've written in a name. And voted by mail! I'm beginning to understand why polling data is increasingly unreliable.

'Put the kettle on darling.'

If I survive this, I'm reinventing myself as a television pundit.

7 Dead Twits Pub & Alehouse - 'He's paying.'