Parliamentary Pundit Pillows

Why backbenchers very rarely speak in the House of Commons.

"Spare a quid, Guv, for a ten pound receipt."

MPs debate future energy needs.

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

Hate Platforms

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

Liberal Vote-Shaming Explained

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Where does it all end up?

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

Obama Healthcare.

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."