Prehistoric Performance Evaluators T-Shirts

'Keeping track of our hunting performance in this way will help us raise standards and increase efficiency!'

The first car accident.

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

"Wheel, schmeel—check these babies out!"

65 Million Years Ago

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"Admit it, we're lost."

Those Were The Days

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

"Or we could tally the sheep like this."

Another Theory as to Why Dinosaurs became Extinct.

The Evolution Of Man.

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

'O mighty gods! - May you grant us food, clothing, and shelter, and the wisdom to know the difference.'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

"Great, just great! And while you're in here, potchkeeing around with paint, Seymour Rabinowitz in the cave next door is inventing fire already!"

Early accounting scandals.

"Plagiarist!"

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"When I grow up, I want to be a scientists like Uncle Grog."

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

Unfortunately, napkins hadn't been invented yet, so good ideas were quickly forgotten.

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

"Your wheel idea was a huge hit, so what have you got for me this time?"

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

'Of course she can talk - She INVENTED talking.'

'Much to his disappointment, Thag's coffee percolator was an invention ahead of its time.

'It was fun to make bujt don't see any possible use for it in the future.'

'- and what makes you think they must have been TALL?'