Pregnant Friends Pillows

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

Baby on Board

"Sweet dreams my little tax break."

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

'I'm afraid we don't deliver on Sundays.'

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

Baby Footballer

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

"No, dear, the baby didn't take a selfie. It's an ultrasound."

Childbirth and Covid 19

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

"Keep pushing, I can see the head!"

The Ultrasound.

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

'How far along are you?'

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'