Predicting Sports Outcomes Pillows

"Don't waste your money,dearie-there's only one score draw next Saturday!"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

Baseball Fantasy League Draft. 27 Trout. Everybody wants that rare player who can do it all on their team. Yeah, a player that hits for average and hits for power! Who is also terrific with a glove and has a strong throwing arm. All along with having great speed! Excuse me, I just don't understand it. Why are you always making such a big deal over a five-tool player?!

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

Footballer and Bacteria.

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'

'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

'A ground ball to deep short, handled beautifully by Santana...'

He had finally calculated that the Cubs would win the Series.

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

"He left behind a wife, three kids, and the number one rated fantasy football quarterback."

Meet Larry; tenor, baritone, philosopher, social commentator, sport analyst, political expert, relationship expert … and A+ certified plumber.

More Fifa officials indicted over bribery scandal

'If you look closely at the CAT scan, you can see a tiny area of normal brain activity. Otherwise, he's got nothing but a headful of useless sports statistics.'

"How do you respond to critics who say you only play the backcourt?"

"Johnson breaks record so obscure even nerds don't care."

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

"According to the statistics more people look at cricket statistics then watch the game."

Pitching guidelines

"Matsuzaka has an ERA of 3.88, yet Francona’s starting Schilling. Doesn’t that seem counterintuitive to you?"

'Everyone left, and it's only the second inning. We should have asked them who's going to win.'

'I'm sure that last ball was lbw.'

'Oh, I hate sport too, but I just love reading the statistics...'

'I bet I can tell you the score before the game starts. Nil-nil.'

'On Tuesdays, I bowl.'

'He's tiring? What happened to round four 'he's ready to go!'?'

Women's Football

F&E CPAs. There's about a month until taxes are due. I like our new business doing the tax returns for athletes. The tennis player is over the net income target he set. Capitol gains were earned by the Washington Nationals baseball player. What about the hockey player who only scores goals on deflections? Let's call it "tip income"! And the speed eater who consumes dozens of hot dogs in minutes? Well, that's "really gross income."

Psychic Night: Predict the Score, Get In Free.

'It's probably nothing.'

"What happened, honey? Was your team defeated again?"