Precision Sipper T-Shirts

'I've tried it - it's a 94.3829366, at best.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"I forget to drink."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

Running Latte

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

A very fine vintage

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

Velvety. And so was the wine.

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

"Eewww! It still makes a lousy cup of coffee!"

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

'Boozer's Week.'

Common stock, Preferred stock, Private stock.

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

Gin-etic Engineering

"That shampoo was delicious!"

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

'They sat in an etape, playing bezique and swilling skookum saloop.'

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

Shall I draw a cork for us?

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

"We start with black coffee and then add a lot of stuff so it doesn't taste like black coffee."

Old man with straw in gin.