Precision Sipper T-Shirts

'I've tried it - it's a 94.3829366, at best.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"I forget to drink."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

Running Latte

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

A very fine vintage

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

Velvety. And so was the wine.

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

"Eewww! It still makes a lousy cup of coffee!"

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'Boozer's Week.'

Common stock, Preferred stock, Private stock.

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

'They sat in an etape, playing bezique and swilling skookum saloop.'

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

Gin-etic Engineering

"That shampoo was delicious!"

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

Shall I draw a cork for us?

"We start with black coffee and then add a lot of stuff so it doesn't taste like black coffee."

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'