Precautionary Preparer Gifts

'I don't think he is a confident flyer.'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

S.O.S. vaccine

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'I tried it at home...'

Holiday Gifts 2020

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"It's called being preemptive."

"Maybe we should have tried it on the rats first."

'I'm building an ark because the polar ice caps are melting.'

Trick or Treatment.

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

'It's the worst I've seen in this area. Lots of chicken pox going around.'

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Hazmat suit

Box of Tissues

Sourdough starter. Mask-making supplies. Everything else

Chicken Noodle sold out.

"People seem to be saying, Christmas is early, much earlier than they did last year."

'I like to puree before I crunch the numbers.'

"Can't talk now, I'm dicing with death, we're doing stir-fry."

"See if our visitor is wearing a mask and listen for coughing while the door knob takes their temperature!"

Transmitting Swine Flu.

Back to Zoom Savings

"I think the Church is taking this flu thing a little too seriously."

Virus Travel Agency. 'Doorknob OK?'

"The flu is coming! The flu is coming!"

"You know what's about to happen and you still got in the car. But yet I'm called the dummy."

"Clear off! Can't you see I'm self-isolating?"

'And when you taught my client to fish, instead of giving him one, did you ever stop to consider that he might be allergic to seafood!'

'Dressing the Salad. Why?'

"It's just a precaution, we've had a few close calls lately."