Precautionary Enthusiast Gifts

"It's called being preemptive."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

Street signs you don't want to see.

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"Don't be an idiot, Larry."

Geekasaurus.

On the scale of 1-10, do you like it?

No Action Comics

'I'd like to play, but I'm afraid it might void my warranty.'

"On reflection, it might be prudent to leave this one till last..."

Tortoise Goes For A Swim

"He wasn't specific. His last message just said, play it safe - whatever that means."

Safe sex is not making love with your helmet on.

"I think the Church is taking this flu thing a little too seriously."

"This is a great investment, as long as you're not in it for the thrills and chills."

Giant bird.

'Buck, the town's bein' attacked by thin cans! Sheriff's been lookin' all over for ya.'

"It's just a precaution, we've had a few close calls lately."

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

'You should try to be more spontaneous.' 'I shall. When I'm good and ready.'

Unnecessary alarm company

'Tortoise and the ne'er-do-well...'

Ted never left anything to chance. His computer passwords were all 99 random characters long. . .

"I've said it until I'm blue in the face - keep sitting on walls and something bad's going to happen. But what do I know? I'm just your mother."

Tiptoeing around voltometers.

"I'll have an ounce of prevention."

Stop before it's too late

"You might wanna lay off the Generics."

The Secret of Long Life...

The Fauci on my shoulder

Road ends.

"You should all get along beautifully. Fred handles toxic wastes, Doris works at a nuclear reactor, and Walter just isn't taking any chances."

"He used to be such a happy, carefree child. Then his invisible playmates became Health & Safety officers."