Pre-op Humor Appreciator Pillows

Nil Insolence By Mouth

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

"I stand corrected."

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

Great Moments in Art History: 1898 Francis Barraud finds inspiration after having his dog spayed.

'Say, please.'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

Healthy Eating Casualties

"It's inoperable and perennial."

"When they develop their own gravitational field it's a clear warning sign of getting type 2 diabetes."

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

"It happened either over the weekend or when I left the office today for lunch."

"You have what we are going to call Klitson's Disease, Mr. Klitson."

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"Sorry for the wait - I hope it wasn't too long."

'Who gets the penile implant, him or me?'

"Trust me I'm a Doctor."

'The only thing wrong with you is that you're holding up my golf game.'

'Regular doctors aren't so bad, but never turn your back on a proctologist.'

'See - the problem is with the left side of the right brain and the right side of the left brain.'

'Could you turn up the volume a little?'

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

ER, The Musical: 'I'm a medic...' 'n' I'm a medic...' 'They're a paramedics!'

"I'm the hospital's cardiologists. The tests are conclusive. You do wear your heart on your sleeve."

"It's butterflies. In your stomach. I think you're in love."