Prank Call Survivor Gifts

"I'm sorry – you have the wrong language."

'Very funny!'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Sir, can I interest you in a luxury coffin?"

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

"They're out to get me... I keep getting phone calls that say 'spam risk'."

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

'You've waited on hold 45 minutes just to speak to my boss? Seriously, sir, get a life!'

"To hear the sounds of the seas press 1, for all other options, or, to speak with a customer advisor, please press 2."

"I'm ringing you because there's nobody in the carriage to annoy..."

'Oooh, man! You really has me going with that fake shark fin!!'

'It's for you.'

"... Or, if you're tired of listening to all of these automated options and would like to cancel your call, press 9."

"First caller is Rudolph, from the North Pole, you're on Rudolph. What's your problem?!. . . And before you speak, lt me just remind everyone that I spent ten years as a detective specializing in tracking down prank callers and mercilessly destroying their self-esteem."

'No, it's not number four either, but he does look like my ex-husband. Yeah, let's go with number four.'

"Hi, my name's Mike. I'm calling from the Government to let you know your Social Security Number has been suspended..."

Phone Calls As a Child and As an Adult

Aklexander Graham Bell, making the first call from New York to Chicago, gets a wrong number.

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

A.T.&T.'s New Competitors

'I'm away from my desk. At the sound, please leave a message.' (Man has horn in his hand).

"I'm sorry, he's not here right now, but I could get one of his socks for you."

'Not another powerpoint sermon!'

"Faked by a snake selling rakes."

"Your car warranty is about to expire..."

'I can't tell if it's an obscene phone call or one of your friends panting.'

I'm away from my desk, please leave a message after my interpretation of a beep.

"Your meeting's over. You can relax you zoom face now."

'I'm lucky that kid called!'

Bonita gets a Cattle Call

Reverend Quinby visits the holdy land

If you would be willing to take a short survey at the end of this call, press "1". If you would like to risk being punished for not taking the survey by being kept on hold for an extra 10 minutes, press "2."

'Mom, Jason is making negative robocalls about me!'

Prank Call

I know you're a recording, but … what are you wearing?