Pragmatic Partner Pillows

'Subject to contract, will you be my wife?'

'I'm sick and tired of you and your 'get rich quick' schemes.'

"I married for love." "I divorced for money."

Christmas present.

"I don't wear jewelry, but cash is nice."

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

The Clinton Campaign, post-mid-September

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"I call it the The Power of Positive Pessimism. Knowing full well that most of the things I try almost always end in disaster, yet somehow finding enjoyment in every step of the process. It works for me!"

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

'The tests are pretty conclusive, Mrs. Kane. It's going to be a brat.'

'Bless this food, and protect us from the pesticides and additives therein.'

'The old one fell apart.'

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

"What if you go under before I need to?"

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

Half full. Optimist. Half empty. Pessimist. Pragmatist.

'Do you think there's anything after death?'

''Love, honor, and obey'? - This needs a REWRITE!'

"Frank's gone fishing, and he'll be looking forward to a fish dinner."

"The main, unchangeable principal that I use in life is to be pragmatic."

"OK, let's go to contract."

"You can be anything!". . . "Take whatever you can get."

"Thirty years of accounting and I haven't had one 'happy accident.'"

"Kids and grand kids squared away forever ago. All set with money. No energy for a whole court thing. So-o-o... maybe you just die?" "Whatever makes you happy, sweet cheeks."

Great Expectations - Managing Expectations

"It's a troubling ethical dilemma."

STRIP Hambone: Stolen laptops

"Yes, this is a used coffin. My brother was a car dealer."

The Pee and Pray - for today's busy Christian.

"Rememeber Son, money can't buy happiness, but it pays for a lot of anti-depressants"

"What this place needs is a hydro-electric dam" "A glass of water would be nice"