Pragmatic Joker Gifts

'I cut a hole in the umbrella so I can tell when it quits raining!'

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'You know too much,'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

Good News about winter

Fish hunting for men.

Candid Camera store.

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Caution May Contain Nuts.

Shoes Make The Man

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

While You Were Out: We Moved!

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

Sharks hate practical jokes.

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

"Uh-oh. We better stop using the fax machine."

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

'I tell them it's for a patient in the next room and they don't complain about their shot.'

"Okay, haha, very funny, you guys. Now toss down the ladder."

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."