Pragmatic Foodie Gifts

'Bless this food, and protect us from the pesticides and additives therein.'

But is it organic?

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Give quiche a chance!

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

Surprise in the salad bowl

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

'Diet considerations.'

"Carpe pizza"

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"Is it free-range?"

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Trade you lunches?'

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

O'Malley's Pub. Special: Cloned Beef and Cabbage. Is nothing sacred anymore?

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

Adam and Eve - Food scares

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

'We've had a couple of requests for an academic brouhaha, so we'll be preparing one of those today.'