Practice Ground Strategist T-Shirts

Cricketer waves a white flag of surrender at the bowler.

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

Board Game Hunter

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

Will eat your homework for $.

That kid's all business.

Internet Cafe.

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"How could you forget where you buried dad. You do know he has the car keys in his pocket?"

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

"Oh, it's just more white-male stuff."

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"Oh stop it. You know perfectly well that before every battle the enemy shouts things at us that we may find offensive."

"I need out-of-the-box thinking with off-the-shelf practicality."

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

"I'm enjoying kindergarten except for all the politics!"

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

'No sir, we're not boarding a flight. My teacher just needs to check my homework in my my dog Sam here, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.'