Practical Worker Gifts

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'You know too much,'

Good News about winter

Fish hunting for men.

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

Candid Camera store.

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'Home Schooling'

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

Shoes Make The Man

Caution May Contain Nuts.

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

While You Were Out: We Moved!

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

Sharks hate practical jokes.

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"Uh-oh. We better stop using the fax machine."

Office Park

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

'I tell them it's for a patient in the next room and they don't complain about their shot.'

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."