Pr Guru In Training Pillows

"They call you Abominable and me a monster, and they don't even know us."

'How fast can you hype?'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Create some buzz!

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Target your customer.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"I go that extra mile!"

Information...political rhetoric

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

Presentation skills.

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'How fast can you hype?'

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."

'Get me public relations!'

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."

"Remember, Mort: Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is remaining media-savvy in the face of fear!"

'When you do the article, is there any way that you can squeeze the factory into the picture?'

Great training inspires employees: 'I see myself doing you job before too long...'

'My market doesn't understand me.'

'The client loves your work. Cut everything except for their logo.'