Pr Consultant Pillows

"There sits the unvarnished truth. Now, how shall we interpret it to our advantage?"

'Get me public relations!'

'First of all we want to have our name changed from 'cockroach' to 'companion beetle'.' (Insect PR).

'As your P R consultant I strongly recommend that you lose the F-word.'

RE Agency - "You do realise that this will be expensive"

'I couldn't help noticing that you may be in need of my services.'

Global Public Relations - doorbell reads, press to impress.

"We need to think about raising your profile ..."

Image Consultant

"But if you put your foot in your mouth, our rates automatically double."

"Go forth and get me a PR consultant."

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

'Yes I can see you have an image problem, but your idea of a more Maria Theresa look I don't think will work!'

'So how does the media work?' 'Buy me another and I'll tell you!'

'Your resume is pure baloney. How'd you like to write political speeches?'

Public Relations: 'Whoever you are, push off! I'm busy.'

"I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters....that'll be £15,000."

"And you say we paid the agency how much for this slogan?"

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

"I've had to change my business name: Potential clients were put off by 'Bear Market'..."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'How fast can you hype?'

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"National security adviser"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Create some buzz!

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

Target your customer.