Guru In Training Pillows

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'Om mani padme hum, om mani padme hum... How hard is THAT?'

"Excruciating boredom, my son, is the beginning of wisdom."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'My electric car is giving me static!'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Kirsten Johnson

Inflating Boobs.

Guru.

Organic Soldering.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

Bob’s Museum

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Great training inspires employees: 'I see myself doing you job before too long...'

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

OM, SWEET OM

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

Animals are smarter than we think!