Powerpoint Predictor Pillows

"This just isn't doing it for me. Could we go back to using the crystal ball?"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'

Psychic diving competition.

'Well done! This works much better.'

'I'm very worried that if we fail to introduce rigid protocols to maximise client gratification indices within acceptable costbenefit parameters to ensure enhanced margins...then we'll have missed the whole point of what Christmas is about!!!'

'That is correct on so many levels Jenkins!'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'This Power Point slide has a dynamic layout comparing reading scores throughout the district, which you would have seen if I remembered to bring a spare projection bulb.

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

'I was trying to predict future market trends and the computer blew up!'

"I can talk for hours without saying anything substantial in a completely incomprehensible way. That's why I'm called an expert."

'Nice presentation, but lighten up on the self-deprecating humor.'

"I'll be right back."

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

'Do you think he'll win the second race?'

"Now let's walk through slide 67...'50 ways to make your presentation more exciting'."

'Good news! The stock market is about to explode upwards on...'

'What's my Dad buying me for my Birthday?'

When psychics fight.

"It's seasonal, like the first gritters of Winter and the first cuckoos of Spring...the first pollsters of the election!"

'Our rivals have issued a big profit warning, so we'll issue an even bigger warning.'