Powerpoint Poet Gifts

Executive MFA

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Meet The Author"

Edgar Allen Poe

"Do me next."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Now I really hate poetry."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

Why we need poetry. . .

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

John Bunyan

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

Blue Stockings - Female poet who has not sold any of her books

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"The rolling wheels...the ringing bells...signal the deliciousness of summer."

Letters escape from a caged book.

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."