Powerpoint Aficionado Gifts

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

Presentation skills.

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

Corporate Whore.

Female business.

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

Desk shaped like an office block.

'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'

"Maybe you do have all the answers but they didn't match any of our questions."

'I'm very worried that if we fail to introduce rigid protocols to maximise client gratification indices within acceptable costbenefit parameters to ensure enhanced margins...then we'll have missed the whole point of what Christmas is about!!!'

"I've no idea what he said...but he's so darned cute."

'He was always too busy to sit for his portrait.'

"Hold your questions until I've talked so long no one knows or cares what you're asking about."

'Fine presentation, Matthews, but, lose the wiggle dance.'

'A simple, 'profits are up', would have sufficed.'

Confident Business Team - We Know We Can

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

'Corporate Sydney'

The three Musketeers give a PowerPoint.

"As a cub I got fed up with circus life, so I took a job in the mail room."

I'm more than just a sauce, I'm a re-sauce.

'Sub lease' and 'Executive suite' putting money into a smug piggy bank

Motivational tip #731: Appeal to their sense of entitlement.

"I can talk for hours without saying anything substantial in a completely incomprehensible way. That's why I'm called an expert."

'Nice presentation, but lighten up on the self-deprecating humor.'

Motivational Business Course: Charm, Repetition, Acronyms, Pie Charts.