Power Jugglers Pillows

The boss and her baby

Children's Parties

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

'Well I like to think every cloud has a silver lining.'

Medieval headlines.

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

"Honey! We're home!"

"Life After a Circus Bankruptcy."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

"Under 'salary desired', could you be more specific than 'obscene'?"

'Tell me about yourself. If I stay awake, you've got the job.'

'Applicant wacked out, suggest immediate promotion.'

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

Miserable man holding a balloon with smiling face.

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

Walk dog, brush your teeth.

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

Heyyy, don't worry about a thing. One more energy drink and I'll have you sliced and sutured in no time!

Unicyclist painting a ceiling,

'Mac, when are we going to get the pickup truck fixed?'

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

You were watching tv on your cellphone while driving, and almost hit an old lady. Guilty. No more multitasking. You are no longer allowed to do two things at once. Okay. Or three things! Death of a loophole.

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."

'Why Mr. Root, I had no idea you were not happy with your work here at crisis services!'

"I've always been extremely passionate about not starving to death."

"Well, Mr Anderson, you resume and references look great. All we need from you now is a full personality assessment, an ancestry report, and your horoscope for the next ninety days... then we can talk about a second interview."

"According to your C.V. you were self employed, but you made yourself redundant?"

'It IS the first time most of them have asked us to 'accidentally' leave all their personal details attached to their feedback!'

'Tell your mom that the grape juice stain is just your way of marking your territory.'

"We want someone who can multitask. During our interview I'd like you to fill out those forms and have a physical."

'If you can't get by on your present salary, Slocum, I suggest your wife get a second job.'

I may not have made any sales this quarter but I also haven't prevented and sales.

"I just can't seem to turn the Wi-Fi off."