Potty Training Gifts

'Yes, bedwetting can be an issue, but there's no need to make a big deal of it...'

'I do set limits. For example, he wasn't allowed to use the tablet computer until after he downloaded a potty training app.'

"I can't wait that long."

'See you then!'

'I think you can get rid of the diapers. Timmy just made a direct deposit.'

MEN, WOMEN, 'What are KIDS supposed to do?'

"Train 'em young that's what I say."

"Think, son. Where did we say bears poop?"

"Didn't I tell you to go before we left?"

"I'm not sure Dad, but I think I wet the bed."

Gangster Babies

Emergency Underpants

"I'd better get off the phone now. I think Timmy has to go number one."

'Slippery When Wet'.

Child on leash peeing on fire hydrant.

'For the last time, Charlie, you don't need a Wii...You just...oh...'

"See what happens to bed wetters?"

"No, sweetie, not in the meadow! Where do we poop?"

"Before we start on the main agenda does anybody need money to take them to the tinkle room?"

"We're potty training."

Remember Rudy Park, my college roommate? He just tipped me off to breaking news. Some geological disaster across the bridge. Wow. You should totally go cover that. I'm glad you think so, 'cause it wouldn't really be responsible to take a 2-year-old to a geological disaster. Could you watch my boy for a few days? On second thought, that's a boring story. Nobody wants to hear about that. He's almost potty trained. Sorry, I have a ... work ... ish thing.

Now, my son, visualize yourself removing your diaper and sitting on the potty

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"A little help, please."

Agility God

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"Have you tried biting him?"

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."