Potato Chip Connoisseur Gifts

No, he's not angry. The genius just attacked a potato chip.

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

American Idle.

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

Homo Zapiens

Unconditional Loveseat

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

Stupid Microwave

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Origins Of Evolution

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

Couch Potatoes

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

'Whatever, crosswords are stupid.'

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"In da house"

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

"I've decided to uninstall your personality and upload mine."

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

Working from Home.

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

"Alexa, tell me ways I can be less of a lazy slob who won't get up to turn off the lights."

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

'Peel, Spot! Peel!'

"Sometimes I wonder if it was worth all the trouble you went through to get yourself cloned."

'What he lacks in intelligence he makes up for in stupidity.'