Postal Ponderer T-Shirts

"I know it's fifty-five cents to mail, young man. How much to get it delivered?"

'What - No lift?!'

'It's the latest Catalogue of Errors. And they've sent it to the wrong address.'

US Mail Bag and Empty Scale are equal weight.

"The universe will either continue expanding at its present rate, expand at a slower rate, or begin to contract. None of this, however, can explain why it sometimes takes four days to get a letter from Chicago."

"May I still use my forever stamps?"

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

'I'm a little confused Dear, am I supposed to be actioning the post of posting an action?'

U.S. Post Office: Local, Out of Town, How Should We Know?

Mailwoman looks at mailboxes marked Mail - Spam.

"We should disguise our mail as bills. Because that's the only mail that is never late."

"Look at all that junk mail! I knew I shouldn't have filled out that questionnaire yesterday."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

'Well that's a load off my mind. Osborne's cutting the 50p tax rate.'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"Just junk mail."

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

"Will you be passing a mailbox?"

'Today, stocks dropped on poll numbers that 60% of people expected it to drop.'

'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'To be or not to be . . . contingent on royal funding.'

"I want my job back."