Post Office Ponderers T-Shirts

'Money? But it says here you will pay my bills free of charge!'

The Jeopardy of Progress

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

Boxes marked 'In', 'Out' and 'How did this end up on my desk?'

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

'Well that's a load off my mind. Osborne's cutting the 50p tax rate.'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"Just junk mail."

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

"Will you be passing a mailbox?"

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'To be or not to be . . . contingent on royal funding.'

"Hello! - Have you ever thought about changing your energy supplier..?"

"I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I told them to pipe down."

Physicists at the Fourth Grotschlov Conference assembled to determine once and for all if light is a wave or a particle.

The Hole that Divides

"As requested, we're going to go over you retirement fund, so, if at all possible, let's hold questions until I have finished and I'm out in the parking lot starting my car."

Nigel finds the Higgs boson.

"The lack of perspective kills me..."

'I'm dubious. Neutrinos may be bigger than we thought, but they're not that big.'

No Junk Mail