Post-vasectomy T-Shirts

Man post-vasectomy is target for dog. 'Ughhh, this vasectomy is killing me. What are you looking at?'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

Dog wearing a cone

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

Day one, post grad

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

EAR, NOSE AND THROAT CLINIC: "You want me to drive?"

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

"There were some squiggly bits left over after the operation, so we gave you a doggie bag."

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"I'll have someone come in and prep you for the bill."

'Now dear, it may be Thanksgiving, but stop referring to your aunt's gallbladder as a giblet.'

Elderly gent keeps his hip in a bottle

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Couldn't you have waited till she was smiling before you injected the botox?"

"It'll have to stay on until your vasectomy heals..."

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

"Hip Op? I thought you meant we were going to a hip-hop dance. . ."

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

Patient after an appendix operation

"Try and get some rest and in a week or two we'll put your brain back in."

"Hey! What's with the 'home run trot'? You struck out!"

Hold on - it may take a few minutes for his new pacemaker to sync with his Fitbit.