Getting A Vasectomy T-Shirts

"Good morning. I'm the surgeon who'll be performing your vasectomy."

The Anti-Agent

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"He's a guard dog."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Algorithm 'n' Blues

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

"I see you've security marked your property."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

The Scanner Of Love.

"The last time I heard a beat like this I was at a Grateful Dead concert."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"