Undergoing Vasectomy T-Shirts

'Vasectomy Clinic.'

Vasectomy Clinic: Convert to Unleaded Here

The Anti-Agent

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"He's a guard dog."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Scarecrows guarding a field

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

"Beware of Don"

Moulin Rouge Security

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

Mou...Man trap!

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'