Post-cosmetic Surgery T-Shirts

"Always had difficulty expressing my anger. Even before the botox injections."

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"No, Doris, not implants!"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

Do you think I'm sixty?

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

Facelift Book.

'Here's the name of my cosmetic brain surgeon. He make you look smarter.'

'You do Botox?'

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'Botox...'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

Mirror mirror...

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

Body Building

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'