Post-cosmetic Surgery Pillows

"Always had difficulty expressing my anger. Even before the botox injections."

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"No, Doris, not implants!"

Do you think I'm sixty?

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

Facelift Book.

'Here's the name of my cosmetic brain surgeon. He make you look smarter.'

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

'You do Botox?'

"I'll fill it with Play Doh and no one will ever know the difference."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Mirror mirror...

Body Building

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

'Botox...'

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'