Post-production Specialist Gifts

'Ever ask yourself how one could be all over the world at the same time on Christmas Eve?'

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Herman Mankiewicz

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Film Festival. Events. Screenings. Ernie attends these festivals in costume. He's gone over to the dork side!

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Canadian film production

Brad Pitt

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

This side is the gag reel.

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

Jimmy Cagney.

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"Which part are you reading for?"

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"I think I should tell you, I'm CGI."

'My ultimate goal is to do product promo in a popular Super Bowl T.V ad.'

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!