Post Perfectionist Gifts

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Yoga for Alcoholics

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"Could you keep still?"

D.I.Y

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

"We need to create more hashtag-worthy moments."

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

Golf lessons

'Not that slowly back...'

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"Well, I've finished the project on time and on budget!" "That means I've given you too much time and too much money!"

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

For sale - Used only Once.

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

Writer

Perfection

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Poetry repairman

Making it look easy.

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'