Post Office Disruptor Gifts

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

Business leader to group: 'Who's making the donkey sounds?'

"Move, Gary."

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

Boardroom cream pies.

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

"I'd like a 'change of address' card."

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

'Be careful opening this...it's marked dangerous goods.'

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

'I don't want to ride you, Hawthorne, but I'd say you've got a serious attitude problem.'

"Hmm, great! - no sign of that dog..."

'Is this where you send stuff offline?'

'She wishes.'

Saint Patrick sending snakes out of Ireland.

"Who will admit to folding the printout into a paper airplane?"

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

Man sees box on street labeled Mail-Mail.

Insufficient Postage: Return to Sender.

Cheese of the Week: Brie

"If this guy doesn't wrap it up real soon, I'll reflect sunlight off my watch and set off the sprinklers."

"I consider myself to be a counterproductive member of society."

"Look! It came pre-defaced by the artist."

"Typical mail - four bills, two catalogs, and a pre-approved credit card for the dog."

'The post is so unreliable - these days I have to slit birthday card envelopes myself so it looks like i put some money in.'

The board meeting was quite dignified until somebody started a pie chart fight.

"I'm thinking about having a sic day."

'Would you kindly not trumpet and simply say 'aye'?'

Air Mail Only.

'I didn't know I was going to sneeze.'