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Cagey Bea

"You've captured the business side of me, but it doesn't say loving family man and generous friend."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Why don't you find a museum!"

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

"You're my Mona Lisa."

'Evidently, one of them was a cartoonist!'

Picasso: The Early Years

Framed Lady

Cats at private view

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

'Must be the lesser known Easter Egg Island.'

Kultural K9's.

Mimi's final scene

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

Diego Velasquez

Joe Biden

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

When cartoonists drink too much coffee.

Phoenix

"What did Jesus order?"

"Feel better, dear?"

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

The Thinker?

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'