Portion Humorist Pillows

"You'll never eat all that. Your problem is your eyes are bigger than your stomach."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

UK/US Free Trade Deal

No-Work Orange

Trump! The Musical

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, except for Hancock... who smells bad...'

"Look! Other people. We'll have to develop a foreign policy!"

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

European Union: Entering a prohibitive tax zone.

Uncle Donnie

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"Beware of Don"

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

John F. Kennedy

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

'This conspiracy theory nonsense MUST end. Any suggestions?'

After working out in the congressional gym, I feel like a lean, mean, legislating machine.

"Possible exception to Prince William's proposed halt on space travel." proposed halt on space travel."

'It was this big. I swear'

'I couldn't get Parliament to outlaw Lady Godiva, but they agreed to regulate her.'

2020 Republican Party National Convention

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."