Port Humorist Pillows

'It was this big. I swear'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

'Luxury cruise you said!'

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"What other tricks does he need?"

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Japanese Whaling

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

Pirates at the mall.

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Shark food pyramid.

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Man painting MOM on boat

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

Walking the Plank.

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

"You can find me on Inkedin."