Port Humorist Pillows

'It was this big. I swear'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"What other tricks does he need?"

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Japanese Whaling

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Pirates at the mall.

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Shark food pyramid.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

Man painting MOM on boat

Walking the Plank.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.