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"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

Brad Pitt, stripped of his celebrity aura.

"We're starting to get media coverage. Pass it on."

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

'The Supreme Court today upheld a lower court ruling, only to have it overturned by Oprah!'

The big questions in life.

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

Runaway Bride.

Wacko Jacko Heart Attacko No Comebacko

'She'll be back!!!'

"Quick! Suspend the Schengen agreement! Close the borders!!"

"If I see that commercial one more time, I can hate it enough to ignore it."

Don Jr.

Welcome to Scotland: Next Celebrity Guided Tour TV Program in 5 Mins.

Celebrity 10 o'clock news...

"I'd love to spend more time perusing the alternative media, but then I'd miss out on all those important celebrity stories."

"So ... is that a Thing now?"

HornyWood

"I can't believe Jennifer Lopez is with some guy that nobody even knows!"

'That woman...it's Nancy Pelosi.'

"I'm here at the actual location and here is the very dustbin that had been knocked over sometime last evening. Luckily, no celebrities were involved in the incident..."

"It's a cross between pop and rap. We call it 'pap.'"

BBC radio one... Please Leave Your Brain at the Door

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'I didn't know there WAS an 'idle gossip dot com.''

Talk or you'll be forced to watch bad TV commercials!

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

'I'm ignorant? You mean...Forrest Gump ignorant or media coverage of Anna Nicole Smith's death ignorant?!'

"Everyone will be squamous for 15 minutes"

Tomb of the Unknown Talk Show Host

'I don't dare ask my students to answer questions - they keep expecting prizes like on Oprah.'

'One down, four to go, Katie.'

A very embarrassing person

Gossip Mags for Weather Girls.

If Public Television is so sophisticated and high-minded, why is the McLaughlin Group discussing Kato Kaelin?